Monday, February 6, 2012

Searching for Balance

I think its something that we all struggle with…finding the right balance in life. Just speaking for myself, I have to say that I never really struggled with it as much as I have since having my son.
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Suddenly life became a lot less about me and a whole lot more about him. Nothing else mattered to me as long as his needs were met.
After being a stay-at-home mom for nearly three years, I found myself becoming restless and quite frankly trying really hard to remember who I was as a person before wearing the “mom” hat.
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The internal struggle that I felt over wanting a career and wanting to be there for my child had me riddled with guilt all the time. I’d discovered a true passion for my new found business but that meant lots of nights away from the dinner table and weekends once filled with family outings were now left to Daddy while I rushed to design consults.
I thought (and still find myself thinking) about design 24/7. Its really hard to turn off work when you love what you do so much… but I was allowing it to become my first priority in life.
I think lots of women feel the same way I do and struggle with the guilt of it on a daily basis….trying to keep a piece of your identity and yet still living up to all the expectations we place on ourselves as wives and mothers.
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Honestly, most days I truly feel that I’m just trying to keep afloat …rushing to get as much done in all areas of my life as I possibly can from 7 a.m. to midnight. (yes, midnight if you notice the time I’m posting this blog entry)
It’s been a year since the passing of my dad.
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We didn’t speak for almost six months before his death. Our fight was so pointless…over a phone call where he had asked for a little bit of my time to help him with his camera. I snapped at him that I didn’t have the time to help…thinking about everything that was on my plate that week and how I was going to stay afloat. I think about him at some point during my day, everyday. I can’t remember what was so pressing that I couldn’t help him out the day he called me.
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Life is crazy short. This is my personal reminder list for every time I need to be smacked over the head with what my priorities are…
1. I will Kick-off more to have dates with my son. Work will always be there…the kids are only little once.
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2. I will not freak out if there’s dust bunnies living under my couch and plastic dinosaurs invading my living room…a house is meant to be lived in. (I bet even Martha Stewart lets her hair down once a year and doesn’t make the bed, right? )
3. I will slow down and set realistic goals for myself…It doesn’t all have to get done today! I will still be successful if I have to wait a little longer to devote more time to my career. I’ll never look back and say I wish I missed more family dinners to work.
4. I will take better care of myself. Recharging the ole’ battery is required and necessary….even Wonder Woman needs a weekend away with her best gal pals every so often.Smile
5. Take more family vacations…memories are like little snapshots in our minds and all that we take with us in the end.
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 If you are struggling with balance in your life, I hope that in some small way I've reassured you that you are surely not alone.

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